Baby Steps

If this post seems disjointed and all over the place, it’s because my brain is disjointed and all over the place. You’ve been warned.

Everything is a process.

Step by step, inch by inch, row by row (that reference is for you, mom).*

This week has been full of preparation, not just for this long drive to Florida, but for training this summer, and for probably never having a REAL summer again in my life. But who knows what God has in store.

I’ve been on long car rides before. We drove from Omaha to Waco, Texas in one day when I was 11. For reference, that’s 740 miles. Tomorrow, I’ll be driving 1070 miles to Macon, Georgia. I thankfully have three friends riding along with me, so we’ll at least be able to take turns driving.

But if I think of it as 1070 miles, I’ll go insane. Instead, it’s Omaha to Kansas City. Kansas City to St. Louis. St. Louis to Nashville. Nashville to Chattanooga. Chattanooga to Atlanta. Atlanta to Macon. Step by step. Mile by mile. Song to song on the 15 hour playlist Hayley and I have been putting together.

We’ve also had 24+ hours of prep work to do before getting to training. WOOF. I’m a master procrastinator, but even I know that I can’t cram 24 hours of Bible study and reading in the day before leaving. That too has been passage to passage, chapter to chapter. I haven’t been this timely about getting anything done in a long time.

And packing for 5 weeks in Florida? Don’t even get me started. Lists on lists on lists. I’m thinking in small chunks. Business casual clothes for daytime? Got ’em. Casual clothes? Heck yes. Toothbrush, makeup, bathing suit, LOTS of socks? On it. I’ve got lists going in 6 different places of things to remember (note to self: rain jacket, phone charger, and cotton balls need to be put on one of those lists!) #7lists

Despite all of the insanity, I’ve gotten to spend quality time with both of my parents and my sister, hang out with other friends, and even gotten in a little relax time for myself.

Last night, in the midst of a deep texting conversation with Hayley, I desperately needed an opinion. So I sent her this picture.

Green Bear-y, Hoppy, and Fredrick, three of my very best friends.
Green Bear-y, Hoppy, and Fredrick, three of my very best friends.

I couldn’t decide which of these guys to bring to training with me. (I’ve decided on Fredrick because #fatbirds) It was such a childish question to ask, but at the moment, it was a genuinely important decision to make. Maybe I have graduated college, maybe I actually have a big kid job now (#mishlife), but maybe I’m also still too young to go on a long trip without a stuffed animal. And that’s okay.

I remember reading this essay senior year of high school in my AP Lit class. It was about a girl on her birthday and how even as you get older, there’s a part of you that is still all of the ages that you’ve been before.

After a quick google search, the essay is called “Eleven” by Sandra Cisneros.

And maybe one day when you’re all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you’re three, and that’s okay.

This summer is going to be a process too. There will be tears. There will be growth. Step by step. Day by day.

And on the day that I feel three and need to cry and cry, I will have Fredrick there with me.

This will be my last post for sure before heading out of Nebraska. Please pray for me and my friends as we all travel towards Ave Maria!

*Now that song is stuck in my head. I beg you, don’t click on that link if you ever want to think of gardens without having this John Denver song stuck in your head for the rest of your life. Save yourself.



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