In Denial

Fifteen days. Fifteen days from right now, I will be a college graduate.

WHAT?

I can’t wrap my head around it. I don’t want to think about it. It’s scary, it’s real, it’s a change in who I am. I’ve been a full-time student since I was four years old. Now what?

I’m avoiding thinking about it. Every single day is bringing a new “last”. This week I led my last Bible study. Yesterday was the last annual video contest I’ll be a part of at the Newman Center. I led my last meeting as president of Honors Ambassadors.

Yesterday, Tom Osborne, former Husker football coach, athletic director, politician, educator, etc., came and spoke to my Death and Dying class.

After texting my dad upon seeing him in the room [“DAD. I’M 10 FEET AWAY FROM TOM OSBORNE AND I’M FREAKING OUT.”] and fan-girling for a few more minutes, I settled in to listen to what he had to say.

LIVING HUSKER LEGEND. He took the time to take an individual picture with everyone in our 40-person class who wanted one. I'm so glad to have met him!
LIVING HUSKER LEGEND. He took the time to take an individual picture with everyone in our 40-person class who wanted one.

He started off speaking to us about the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, especially the habit of “beginning everything with the end in mind”.

“I love talking to you all, as a group of students,” he told us, “because you’re at a beginning.” It hit me hard. SO MUCH of my life is still ahead of me. I have so much left to see, so much left to learn, so many people left to love. While I’m at a point of a temporary goodbye, I’m realizing that this whole life on earth is a beginning – a beginning that leads to eternity. If we start here with THAT end in mind, we’ll live completely differently, and that’s what I’m trying to do.

Today is a new beginning. I decided it, so it is. I have 15 days left. With the end so near, it’s hard to continue to push it out of my mind. I want to live these last 15 days fully.

On Tuesday, the UNL Newman Center students found out that one of our two amazing priests, Fr. Holdren, will be leaving our parish. He’s been here for 7 years as an associate pastor, and now he will be moving on to be the pastor of his own parish in a small town.

Father Holdren and I chilling in Orvieto, Italy on our UNL pilgrimage last year. NBD.
Father Holdren and I chilling in Orvieto, Italy on our UNL pilgrimage last year. (This was also my best hair day for the entire 10 day trip. Just saying.)

Fr. Holdren is an incredible priest. He’s helped me grow in my faith SO much in my time in college, and I know countless other people who would say the same thing. I am so excited to see how he brings the joy that only Christ can give to another community.

During his homily at Mass yesterday, Fr. Holdren spoke about how we, as a parish, are a family. “What happens to one of us happens to all of us,” he said.

BOOM.

On Wednesday night, I was praying in the beautiful new church after Mass. Fr. Holdren was a few rows in front of me and I felt very drawn to pray for him while in there. I was watching him look around the new church, glancing over at Mary in the side chapel, looking up at the Crucifix for a few moments, and then finally settling upon staring intensely at our stained glass window, Christ in the Heavenly Court.

I prayed that he would be at peace with having to leave this parish. I prayed that he would see all of the good, exciting things about his new parish and the new people he’ll be serving. I prayed that he would really enjoy these last few weeks of school and live them out fully.

And then I realized I was praying for the same things for myself.

What happens to one of us happens to all of us.

I’m scared to leave, but I know it’s time. I’m SO excited to meet the new students at whatever school God wants me to serve at. I’m planning to ~LiVe It uP~ for these last few weeks. God is so good.

As we move through this life, something new is ALWAYS beginning. When we live with the end -with eternity – in mind, we’re better prepared to handle whatever is thrown our way.

I’m so grateful for my time as a Husker…

Seriously. Does it get any better than this? #GBR
Seriously. Does it get any better than this? #GBR

But I am SO STOKED to see what’s next.

Bring. It. On.

 

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